Sunday, January 6, 2013

My Beautiful Goan Family


    When I was a little girl my Dad would often say to me “Sweetie, if I could give you the world I would”. I would hear this, sit back and think two things; 1. Wow, that is how much my Dad loves me and 2. Wow, the whole world. I wonder what that looks like. I am pleased to report that my father, amazing as it seems, accomplished this task.
    My parents split up when I was a child and my father remarried a woman originally from Goa, India. My step mother is amazing and has been an incredible addition to my life. Growing up with an Indian step-mother, and two half Indian step-siblings has been incredibly enriching to my life. Beyond this it has brought diversity into my life. Because my step Mom is from Goa I didn’t grow up with her wearing typical Indian suits, or sari’s, but there were so many stories, facts, and much information about ‘back home’ and all of the things she experienced growing up there that were so different from Canada. Goa is a former Portuguese colony so my step mother is Catholic, speaks English as a first language, and understands a little Portuguese as well. In my household we would often have tandoori chicken prepared for us, or a delicious Portuguese rice with tomatoes, cinnamon, and cloves. My step-mom’s mother cooks a great deal of more typical Indian fair, and she would often send over whatever she cooked.
    I found growing up in Brampton, Ontario I was already in the middle of multiculturalism as Brampton has many immigrants and there are so many different nationalities, customs, and languages that are different. But having ’diversity’ represented within my home has taken on an entirely different understanding for me and of course has deep meaning.
    Now I am in Goa, India, the original home of my step-mother and I have arranged to meet some of her relatives in the town of Margao, where they live. I had been communicating with them via phone and they had invited me to come on the 31st of December for Noel’s birthday. Noel is Michelle’s cousin. He is married to Bernie and they have 5 children ranging in age from sixteen to mid-thirties. I was a little concerned about the arranged visiting day as I knew I had New Years eve plans and Margao was two hours south of the beach I was staying at. However I was really excited to meet this part of my family and have this experience. I hired a motorbike taxi to drive me the two hours south, wait for a few visiting hours, then drive me back in time for New Years’ Eve.
    Even though I love riding around on a motorbike two hours was a little too long for my tushy. But I got a good tan on the drive and enjoyed passing through the very small province of Goa. Goa is teeny, tiny, compared to Karnataka, or Maharashtra. It takes about two or three hours to drive the length of it. Every ten minutes or so my phone would go off and it would be Noel wondering how close I was to Margao. I appreciated the concern, even though it was hard to hear him on my cell, while riding on the motorbike. Hahahahaha.
    I arrived at the taxi stand and waited for Noel and his kids to arrive. Arrive they did. I hopped into their car and had my motorbike taxi follow us to their home. When we got to the house the two front doors swung open and there stood Bernie, literally, with open arms welcoming me inside. Such a fabulous first introduction. Their home is beautiful and was fully decorated for the holidays. I met three out of the five of their kids; Phoebe, Elton, and Heidi. Heidi is the youngest, sweet sixteen, and still in high school. Noel immediately poured me a glass of Canadian whiskey, a gift from my father back in Canada. Sweet Heidi wanted a drink too, but Noel initially refused due to her age. But with some prodding he allowed her the alcoholic beverage.
    Then we sat and chatted. What a beautiful family and so hospitable. I felt right at home and just loved their company. Bernie gave me a nice compliment saying that I was down to earth and not uptight like other Canadian girls, hahaha. I liked this. My attention was constantly changing from one person to the next as everyone had questions, or things they wanted to share with me. Fabulous!
    Then we feasted. Oh my goodness! Bernie is, not only, a fabulous host, but a fabulous cook. The food was absolutely incredible; prawn curry, Portuguese rice, drumsticks, a pork curry, which was incredible and my favorite dish on the table, chana masala, a stew with sausage, and chicken, pakoras, samosas, and salad. Then there was dessert! I had read about a Goan dessert called bebinca, which is a layered egg/milk cake. Similar to flan, but made with coconut milk instead. Sure enough Bernie had put it out on the table. Lucky me!
    After lunch Elton and Phoebe took me for a short tour of Margao. We went to a lookout point to catch the sunset, which we just missed but it was beautiful just the same. A common New Years’ Eve tradition in Goa is to burn mock grandfathers. Locals assemble more or less a scarecrow, resembling a grandfather, and set fire to them at midnight symbolizing the passing of time and welcoming the new year. As we drove through Margao we would see the grandfathers sitting out in lawn chairs waiting to be set ablaze! Elton and Phoebe also took me to see ‘crypts’, which are small scale nativity scenes. I liked seeing the different traditions and festive representations.
    We had to book it back to the house as my motorbike taxi was waiting to drive me back to Arambol. Of course I couldn’t leave without family photos to remember the occasion. Bernie, true to motherly form, packed a box of foods for me to take on the road. So sweet. Hugs and kisses were shared. Noel told my driver not to go too fast, and that I should call them once I reached Arambol to know I was safe, just like my Dad would have done. I hopped onto the back of the motorbike ready to whiz back for my New Years Eve party in Arambol.
    As we drove back underneath the night sky full of a million stars I remembered my Dad’s wish for me from childhood. Immediately my eyes filled with tears as I realized that my Dad’s wish had come true. Here I was in India, half way across the world from my biological family, meeting, and connecting with my new extended family from his re-marriage. In that moment I knew I had just received the whole world and my heart couldn't have held more love in it.














    Thank you Noel, Bernie, Elton, Phoebe, and Heidi. A big thanks to Goa, and most importantly a huge thank you to my Dad, Mom, Step-Mother and family back in Canada. I love and thank you for everything I am and have.

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